Reader-Submitted CCCE: Praytriotism

January 15, 2007

Reader Ericka sent a bunch of good CCCEs, which I’ll be sharing over the next few days. The first one is kind of a mashup of a couple of things that make the rounds regularly. A big-print, graphics-intensive, misunderstanding-the-Constitution, well-meaning-but-horrid mashup. Look:














YOU BET I’LL PASS IT ON!!!!!!
forever
glitterboy
snoopy
smiley
I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE
TO THE FLAG
OF THE UNITED STATES
OF AMERICA,
AND TO THE REPUBLIC,
FOR WHICH IT STANDS,
ONE NATION UNDER GOD,
INDIVISIBLE, WITH LIBERTY
AND JUSTICE FOR ALL!


I was asked to send this
on
if I agree or delete if I
don’t.
It is said that 86% of
Americans
believe in God.
Therefore I have a
very
hard time understanding
why there is such a
problem
in having
“In God We Trust”
on our money and
having
“God”
in the Pledge of Allegiance.




I AGREE!

candle



PLEASE KEEP THIS GOING,
EVEN IF YOU HAVE PASSED IT ON BEFORE!!



Please send this on after a short

prayer!
bear
Prayer wheel for our
Marines, soldiers, sailors,
coastguard, and airmen…
please don’t break it

wars
“Dear Heavenly Father,
hold our troops in your loving
hands.
Protect them as they protect us.
Bless them and their families
for the selfless acts they perform
for us in our time of need.


Please stop a moment
and say a prayer for our troops
(land, air, and sea) in
Afghanistan, Kuwait,
Iraq and all around the world.

children



This can be very powerful…..
Just send this to people
in your address book.
Do not stop the wheel,
please…



















Of all the gifts you
could give our
U.S.Military,
prayer is the very
best one!







He already does.
John 3:16















Wow. I’ve done as good a job as I can in replicating that, but WordPress gets a little wonky with font sizes. Where to start? There’s the “send it on or kiss my ass” thing. That always gets me. I’m not allowed to disagree or call you out on your simpleminded bullshit? That’s why I have this site, because I don’t agree and I’m not just going to delete it. Then there’s this:

It is said that 86% of Americans believe in God. Therefore I have a very hard time understanding why there is such a problem in having “In God We Trust” on our money and having “God” in the Pledge of Allegiance.

Yes, person who wrote it, I’ll bet you do have a hard time understanding that, because I’ll bet you’re one of that 86%. But if it weren’t your preferred deity on the money and in the pledge, how would you feel? I realize that it’s very difficult for those with societal privilege to see themselves ever being in a situation without it, but just imagine if you will, what that might be like.

Dear Heavenly Father,
hold our troops in your loving
hands.
Protect them as they protect us.
Bless them and their families
for the selfless acts they perform
for us in our time of need.

Without going into a long diatribe about why I disagree with the war in Iraq and how there was never any danger to the US, I’ll just say that this war has left us less safe at home. Not only because blowing people’s houses up just contributes to anti-American sentiments in the region, creating more terrorists, but also because of who’s being deployed. The National Guard and Reserves are staffed by ordinary Americans, and many of those ordinary Americans have jobs in public safety- police officers, firefighters, and the like. With those people deployed, their departments back home, especially if they’re small departments in rural areas, have to operate with fewer employees, working longer shifts or having less coverage. While I’ll agree with the “performing selfless acts” part, and certainly share the author’s wish that all our servicepeople make it home safely, my freedom and safety are better defended by having fully staffed police departments at home.

Of all the gifts you
could give our
U.S.Military,
prayer is the very
best one!

I’m thinking not. Everybody I know who served in Iraq wanted baked goods and things like wet wipes and baby powder to help cope with the heat. Porn’s probably a pretty good gift, too. All I’ll say is I’ve heard stories of what’s available on the black market in Iraq.

He already does.
John 3:16

Who already does what? Okay, I think I know who, but that’s like scripture out of nowhere. This whole email was a big, wonderful mess.

Scoring:

-Multiple Fonts Used

-Multiple Colors Used
That “I AGREE!” part was a sumbitch to code.

-Multiple Type Sizes Used

-ALL-CAPS SHOUTING!

-Graphics, Graphics, Graphics
Imageshack hates me now.

Pass This Along- If You Aren’t Ashamed!
It’s more “pass this along if you agree, if not kiss my ass,” but it’s the same sentiment



Thanks for all the awful emails, Ericka! And since I’m kinda depressed by the discourse in this country that wants to make religion and patriotism synonymous- according to Google, I’m the first person to call it praytriotism- I like that word, let’s keep it going, here’s a link to Atheists in Foxholes.

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