CCCE: Forward This or the Terrorists Win. No, Really.

This one I got in my own personal inbox. It’s maybe only marginally Christian up until the end, but it pissed me off enough that I thought I should put it up here:

> Written by a housewife from New Jersey and sounds like it! This is one ticked off lady.
>
> “Are we fighting a war on terror or aren’t we? Was it or was it not started by Islamic people who brought it to our shores on September 11, 2001 ?
>
> Were people from all over the world, mostly Americans, not brutally murdered that day, in downtown Manhattan , across the Potomac from our nation’s capitol and in a field in Pennsylvania ? Did nearly three thousand men, women and children die a horrible, burning or crushing death that day, or didn’t they?
> And I’m supposed to care that a copy of the Koran was “desecrated” when an overworked American soldier kicked it or got it wet?…Well, I don’t. I don’t care at all.
>
> I’ll start caring when Osama bin Laden turns himself in and repents for incinerating all those innocent people on 9/11.
>
> I’ll care about the Koran when the fanatics in the Middle East start caring about the Holy Bible, the mere possession of which is a crime in Saudi Arabia .
>
> I’ll care when these thugs tell the world they are sorry for hacking off Nick Berg’s head while Berg screamed through his gurgling slashed throat.
>
> I’ll care when the cowardly so-called “insurgents” in Iraq come out and fight like men instead of disrespecting their own religion by hiding in mosques.
>
> I’ll care when the mindless zealots who blow themselves up in search of nirvana care about the innocent children within range of their suicide bombs. I’ll care when the American media stops pretending that their First Amendment liberties are somehow derived from international law instead of the United States Constitution’s Bill of Rights.
>
> In the meantime, when I hear a story about a brave marine roughing up an Iraqi terrorist to obtain information, know this: I don’t care.
>
> When I see a fuzzy photo of a pile of naked Iraqi prisoners who have been humiliated in what amounts to a college-hazing incident, rest assured: I don’t care.
>
> When I see a wounded terrorist get shot in the head when he is told not to move because he might be booby-trapped, you can take it to the bank: I don’t care.
>
> When I hear that a prisoner, who was issued a Koran and a prayer mat, and fed “special” food that is paid for by my tax dollars, is complaining that his holy book is being “mishandled,” you can absolutely believe in your heart of hearts: I don’t care.
>
> And oh, by the way, I’ve noticed that sometimes it’s spelled “Koran” and other times “Quran.” Well, Jimmy Crack Corn and –you guessed it — I don’t care ! ! ! ! !
>
> If you agree with this viewpoint, pass this on to all your E-mail friends. Sooner or later, it’ll get to the people responsible for this ridiculous behavior!
>
> If you don’t agree, then by all means hit the delete button.
>
> Should you choose the latter, then please don’t complain when more atrocities committed by radical Muslims happen here in our great country! And may I add:
>
> “Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world. But, the Marines don’t have that problem.”
> — Ronald Reagan
>
> I have another quote that I would like to add AND…….I hope you forward all this.
>
> “If we ever forget that we’re One Nation Under God, then we will be a nation gone under .”
> Also by.. Ronald Reagan
>
> One last thought for the day:
>
> In case we find ourselves starting to believe all the Anti-American sentiment and negativity, we should remember England ‘s Prime Minister Tony Blair’s words during a recent interview. When asked by one of his Parliament members why he believes so much in America , he said:
>
> “A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in… and how many want out.”
>
> Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you:
> 1. Jesus Christ
> 2. The American G. I.
>
> One died for your soul, the other for your freedom.
>
> YOU MIGHT WANT TO PASS THIS ON, AS MANY SEEM TO FORGET BOTH OF THEM. AMEN!

Not to disparage stay-at-home parents or Garden State residents, but yes, first line of the email, it does sound like it was written by a housewife from New Jersey. One whose only source for current events is Fox News, who doesn’t know the difference between Iran and Iraq- pronounced, of course, “Eye-ran” and “Eye-rack.”  I have so many problems with so much of this, I don’t even know where to start.  I guess the beginning is as good a place as any:

> I’ll care about the Koran when the fanatics in the Middle East start caring about the Holy Bible, the mere possession of which is a crime in Saudi Arabia .

First of all, “I’ll respect your holy book when you respect mine” is not a valid argument. I’m fairly sure the author of this piece has no intention of ever respecting the Quran anyway. I don’t want to assume to know what the author is thinking here, but this sounds like an argument/ talking point used by some people who like to call the US a “Christian nation.” People who aren’t exactly fans of religious freedom themselves. Yes, the Saudi Arabian government isn’t big on religious freedom, but “mere possession” of a Bible isn’t a crime, prosetlyzing is. I’m not trying to minimize their atrocious human rights record, but it seems that some people aren’t swayed by reports of religious persecution unless it’s their religion being persecuted. I doubt some of the people forwarding this message have a problem with overtly Christian prayers before high school football games in Texas or with this.

> In the meantime, when I hear a story about a brave marine roughing up an Iraqi terrorist to obtain information, know this: I don’t care.
>
> When I see a fuzzy photo of a pile of naked Iraqi prisoners who have been humiliated in what amounts to a college-hazing incident, rest assured: I don’t care.

You don’t care, housewife in New Jersey? So if young, religiously-committed Muslims who otherwise bore no huge grudges against the US see those pictures and are outraged enough that they decide to join a terrorist group and end up killing people, you don’t care about that? Because I care about that very much. See, winning a war isn’t just about blowing shit up. To really be effective, you need to have the moral high ground. Otherwise, you’re going to get civilians in the country you’ve come to fight in mobilizing against you instead of treating you like the liberating force you think you are. If you’re forcing your prisoners to make naked pyramids and taking pictures of it or violating international law by torturing people, well, you’ve lost your claim to moral superiority. You’ve become what you were supposed to be liberating people from.

> And oh, by the way, I’ve noticed that sometimes it’s spelled “Koran” and other times “Quran.” Well, Jimmy Crack Corn and –you guessed it — I don’t care ! ! ! ! !
>

Well, I care. Partly because I know exactly why it’s spelled different ways- Arabic is written with a different script than English; transliteration conventions vary. I think that’s plenty interesting, but I studied Linguistics. I think it would be cool if we all used the IPA more often. Also, I don’t know whether the writer actually doesn’t care about spelling, or if she (and for all we know, somebody just attached a “Written by a housewife in New Jersey” tag to some wanker’s Free Republic forum post) is just confused by the whole thing and doesn’t want to admit it.

> If you agree with this viewpoint, pass this on to all your E-mail friends. Sooner or later, it’ll get to the people responsible for this ridiculous behavior!
>
> If you don’t agree, then by all means hit the delete button.
>
> Should you choose the latter, then please don’t complain when more atrocities committed by radical Muslims happen here in our great country!
>

WTF to the whole thing. I’m a fan of the whole “six degrees” idea, but do we really think we’re eventually going to get this email to Osama? Seriously? I don’t think anyone who has gotten this email and is forwarding it is friends with anybody in terrorist cells. Plus, maybe they don’t read English so well. And is telling religiously-motivated terrorists you don’t respect or care about their religion going to help? Or make them change their ways? And, for real, are you telling me I’m on the side of terrorism for deleting an email? That I couldn’t be upset if more terror attacks happened in this country because I though this email was ridiculous? You have got to be fucking kidding me, anyone who feels this way.

And now, here’s what you came here for:

> Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you:
> 1. Jesus Christ
> 2. The American G. I.
>
> One died for your soul, the other for your freedom.

I beg to differ, email. Here is a partial list of people who have offered to die for me:

So there.

For as much as this email pissed me off, it’s a low-scorer on my scale:
Ending with an admonition that if you don’t pass it on, the terrorists have won.

I shouldn’t be surprised that people can be incredibly ignorant, but I really am sometimes.

Advertisements

22 Responses to CCCE: Forward This or the Terrorists Win. No, Really.

  1. Stephen says:

    That was painful to read. The ‘If you don’t agree with me, don’t say anything” bit is especially asinine.

  2. yinyang says:

    I think I’ve seen a version of this somewhere, or at least a letter with similar sentiments. The “I don’t care” part in the middle especially rings of deja vu. In any event, it’s disgusting. It’s “treat people how you want to be treated,” not “treat people how they treat you.”

  3. JenJen says:

    Just received this in my inbox, so after googling to see if it was typical wingnut astroturf, it was a pleasure to find your site and read your responses.

    Thanks for helping me feel just a little bit less irritated today! :-)

  4. Hilarious! Your site is a breath of fresh air. I was googling chainmail letters because i’m writing a parody of one and I came across your site. I had no idea there were Christian ones out there–I have really good spam filters so I don’t get stuff like this. Ah, the crap I miss out on.

  5. Am I alone in the experiencing the feeling of Impending Doom?
    Am I the only one who thinks that america is becoming a financially, economically and militarily strong Afganistan?
    Am I alone in thinking that going to the States to pursue higher studies is no longer a good idea?

  6. Chris says:

    Your site is great. I was looking for a site chock full of crazy forwarding madness, and I have arrived. Keep up the good work!

  7. Jerseygirl89 says:

    As a housewife (although I prefer the terms Stay-at-home Mommy and/or bitch who can stay in pajamas all day) from New Jersey, thank you so much for posting this and ripping it to shreds.

    I may have to do this with the next stupid chain email I get, though I promise to give you full credit for the idea. Your site is brilliant.

  8. phawk says:

    Really? This is a crazy Christian chain letter? I did not recognize it as one and I am a Christian. Oh!…wait…is it because the name of Jesus was mentioned? Oh, well, if that is it you might want to run all those Hollywood stars in those movies who mention the name of Jesus or God. Whoops!…no, that wouldn’t work would it? Yeah, I forgot, THEY only demean the name and that makes their use of the name okay. There for a minute I thought they might qualify as “crazy Christian” just because the name was mentioned. Thanks for getting me straightened out!

  9. David says:

    Phawk, you are a monumental idiot. It is Christian not only because it mentions Jesus, but because if you were able or willing to read between the lines you would realize it is motivated by a misguided, thoroughly un-Christian version of overzealous Christianity. So when Hollywood stars thank Jesus or God they are not invoking hatred or ignorance as this chain email is. And guess what? Fuck Jesus.

  10. kashifalvi says:

    your debate was mind blowing…normally i wouldn’t read such a long post but the suspense was so great that i had to finish it. You left no space for me to summarize and put in my view.
    great site, ill start visiting more often now.
    peace.

  11. Edub says:

    Lmao, I’m surprised no one got the “blowing people up in the pursuit nirvana” blunder, further proving the ignorance of this person.

  12. StrangeQuark says:

    The lyrics thing cracked me up!

    Also: IPA for the win!

  13. DJ says:

    Just got my second forward of this letter and posted my own response. Glad to see I’m not alone in my thinking…

  14. Redfemaleandover60 says:

    I was checking a chain email on google and came across your site, where the chain email in question does appear. I love your comments, I wish I was as articulate, I can agree with every word you say. Thank you for some sanity in the face of all these annoying emails.
    What I really don’t understand is the woman who send these to me who purports to be religious and yet is afraid to not forward them in case some bad luck befalls her?? Excuse me? Some kind of contradiction here, and it isn’t very Christian to send them on to other people who might feel similarly threatened (NOT ME).

  15. gourd says:

    Re people who offered to die for you, you forgot Prince.

  16. GTS says:

    I agreed with your response until I got to the end where you brought up the music artists. At that point, you were playing on her level (which is never a good idea when demonstrating to the audience how much of a moron the other person is) and being completely ridiculous.

    Great response as a whole, though.

  17. A says:

    Are you kidding me? Why would you attempt a reasoned retort to that “letter” – And if you believe it was written by a housewife in N. J. I have a story about a baby jebus that I would like to relate to you.
    You can bet that letter is more crap straight out of the right wing propaganda machine.

  18. kimmalizzy says:

    you’re an idiot

  19. Roger Williams says:

    The lack of due diligence in attacking this Canadian editorial is disconcerting but understandable when taken in the context of this site. Having thought that I found a little light of unbias analysis, I’ve discovered that you have actually become what you rant against…a narrow-minded hate monger spewing poison in the name of your religion (atheism). And please spare everyone the, “atheism is a religion” argument because it is and it produces just as many disgustedly, emotional dependent losers as many other do. I think I’m getting to the point where at least I respect the fanatics around the world….at least in comparison to the cowards who desperately hold to their belief in “nothing” with a blind fervor that would make any imam or TV evangelist proud. Good job morons.

  20. I simply could not go away your website prior to suggesting that I actually loved the usual info
    a person provide in your visitors? Is gonna be again steadily
    to inspect new posts

  21. Your style is so unique in comparison to other folks I
    have read stuff from. I appreciate you for posting when you have the opportunity,
    Guess I will just bookmark this web site.

  22. xvnc command says:

    I always emailed this website post page to all my contacts,
    for the reason that if like to read it after that my friends will
    too.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: